So when I first started writing this blog one of the promises I made to myself was that I wasn't going to make the rookie error of posting irregularly. I would commit and make sure I was constantly creating content for my website.... so anyway 6 weeks later... "I'm back"
So my time away isn't simple slackness, I have gone back to work, organised and had surgery on my busted leg. Continued working on my photography and in-fact rebooted my website/brand (although I'm thinking about setting up a different website where i can discuss the inner workings of my mind away from the place I display my photography... maybe? If you have thoughts let me know!).
What I have learned in my time away is that I think this blog is a huge part of what helps me day to day.
As the real world has crept back into my life bad habits here and there have crept in as well, which isn't surprising. Its significantly easier to keep on top of your well-being when you are having a break from everything and the focus of your day-to-day is keeping on top of these things. Once you start making space for work and family and all the other things in life managing it is a skill in itself.
I think what I found was that sitting here at a keyboard rattling off whatever is on my mind good bad or indifferent is a great way of venting my stuff and checking in with myself.
So one of the things that I'd like to check in on was that I have made huge strides in terms of personal care. Self care in the more every day aspects has always been something that i struggle with going back to childhood, and I made a big commitment to turning this around. In the last few months I have been all over new clothes, to wear dentist trips to sort out my teeth, setting up a daily self care routine that looks after my skin/hair/cleanliness etc. This was not cheap and that is where the problems arose. I was so hell bent on making these changes that I didn't check in on my budget and then spent the following few months living on a shoe string while I got the books to balance again.
Maybe this is the lesson for me currently, balance. It's all well and good making these changes but if I make myself feel good in this area at the expense of introducing stresses of affordability elsewhere have I actually helped myself at all?
In this instance I think a lot of this was all necessary stuff, things that I hadn't looked after for a very long time needed dealing with, and there is no getting around the fact that they cost money. Could or should I have phased this over a few months and limited the amount of batch cooking needed to survive this? Or is it good that its all done and when payday comes I'll be more or less back to the beginning? I guess it doesn't matter as it has been and gone now, but it's probably good for me to sit and write this and spend a while thinking about this to help myself down the line, or anyone else who has done similar things you ain't alone.